Hold On a Second
I have evidently spent my life being inconvenienced for other people’s needs. Rarely have I noticed. Also, I do not seem to find it odd or particularly oppressive. One could say that it is my norm.
Over the years I have been surprised by others’ reactions to my offers to help, show up, assist or drive. The “you don’t have to” or “why would you do that?!” comments blurted out might have been a clue, but they did not hear my mother’s voice in their head. “It doesn’t hurt you to_______” and just fill in the blank. I thought everyone was like me, although I had noticed that I was usually the one showing up, offering, or being volunteered.
Recently, I had someone go to bat for me. They were horrified that I was being told I had to drive two hours to sign some papers. I was resigned to going and truth be told, was actually happy enough to do it as it would take a large weight off my shoulders. If it was the best and easiest solution, it wouldn’t hurt me to give up 5 or 6 hours of my time. I kept repeating that it was not a problem. Let me just go and get it done. You don’t have to fight for me. The reply was usually the same, “It’s ridiculous and why should you have to go?!!!!”
As the deadline neared, I was told at noon it was determined that yes, I would travel on Friday to comply with the majority preference. I stopped and picked up paperwork I would need and toodled off to lunch with a friend. Several text messages and a quick call once I was home so that I could provide further information and I thought we were set. Then came the news that it appeared I would not have to drive, and my Friday freed up.
My go to person here was as stunned as I. This conversation had been on-going for days with no resolution. Then it was decided and that was that, until it wasn’t. Now, somehow, we went from impossible to easy-breezy and “certainly, we can do it that way.” You could almost hear the “why didn’t you ask?” that was implied in their capitulation.
I remained happy either way. Making it easy for everyone else continues to be my go-to and brings me joy. That being said, I am thrilled that for once others did the jumping through the hoops and not me. I will save my energy for the next time or maybe even those days are coming to an end.
