Here’s What I See

Recently I have had the opportunity to tell people how I have experienced them. Most people, when presented with this chance, tend to point out the person’s faults or shortcomings.  It appears to be how we are wired. We focus on what is not working. It comes from fear and a feeling that we need to “help” them “see” something.

It is more difficult to find the positive or uplifting especially if you are related to the person. Somehow their behavior is a reflection on us or our responsibility. We want what is best for them, but default to our concern and therefore our judgement.

I have consciously attempted to turn this human habit around. Letting go of my need to fix has helped, as has my realization that perhaps all of us need more encouragement. In my observation we are all quite adept at finding the fault in ourselves and perhaps that is why we attract more of the same from the outside world. Too much of that and we begin to believe that we are our thoughts and criticism. The balance is gone.

So, my new approach is to tell the people in my life and others I might only have a short encounter with, that they matter and have made a difference in my life – for the good. It is added to my daily practice of trying to make at least one, if not more, fellow Earth campers laugh. I will take a smile but do really believe that the laugh will go a bit further.  I share how I see them and what they have meant to me.

It is appreciated, but interestingly has the effect of making people cry. It has happened a number of times recently and made me stop to think that all any of us really want in this life is to be seen and appreciated. I had never realized how many people view themselves as less than, think their efforts are for naught or are simply starving for human connection.

It does not take a long time and it costs nothing to express your gratitude and appreciation. To find something positive or caring or thoughtful about another human and tell them.  It takes nothing away from us and does not make us vulnerable because all we are doing is saying what we see, it does not need to be reciprocated for we all see different things, so my experience of someone can be completely opposite of how they see me. There is enough grace to go around, so open your minds, hearts, eyes, and arms and tell someone today how they have brightened your world.

You will be surprised how much it gives back to you.