What?!

BIG ASSHOLE!!!!

At least that is what I heard from my traveling companion in the seat next to me. We were on the fifth day of a twenty-two-day trip in Scotland and Ireland and I thought it a bit too early to be that annoyed with each other.

I was the designated driver as I am reasonably confident driving on the right-hand side. In my mind it comes from having driven in Singapore as an 18-year-old. It is rather like riding a bike, it comes back to you, especially if you continually repeat my driving mantra – left is right, and right is left.  

I was somewhat taken aback when she screamed it and recoiled.  I realize that sitting in the passenger seat which is the driver’s seat in the United States is off putting as everything seems WAY TOO close on the left and many of the roads appear to be one lane (not) and there are few shoulders to protect along the way.

Luckily, my ears and my eyes connected quickly enough to realize that what she had screamed was a warning not a judgement.  There was a BIG ASS HOLE right in front of the car.  The kind that will take out a tire or certainly ruin the alignment.  I swerved just in time.

It made me laugh. A lot. For quite a while. Then it made me think. How often do we hear something and misinterpret the meaning? Our experiences and perceptions vary wildly from each other and so most of life is open to interpretations that may have little or nothing to do with what the person meant. Sometimes we react and the person has a chance to explain what they intended by a word or phrase, but often we are so taken aback or offended or hurt we do not question their meaning. We simply walk (or limp) away licking our wounds.

Language is imprecise in its imprecision. Words we believe mean one thing to us, do not hold the same effect for others. It is easy to offend or affront without the intention of doing so.  In today’s world so many allow words to upset yet they do not take the time to ask what was truly intended.  As children we chanted, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Perhaps it is time to remember that most people are simply trying to communicate in the best way they know how at the moment.

So, maybe in the car that morning I would have been a big asshole had I not noticed the big ass hole. It was a warning not a condemnation. Or at least I choose to think it was!!!