What’s Your Story?

The stories we tell. All of us are master storytellers and yet it is not perceived as creative. We wander through our daily lives making up scenarios, life stories, and biographies. We label it judgement.

For some reason I have been musing on the various “me’s” that are out there in the world.  All of them have a kernel of truth and some are spot on, but many have little to nothing to do with what I perceive to be the real me. They are projections from others based on their perceptions, other’s opinions, a snap decision, or a rash assessment.

I so enjoy when someone who has judged me harshly or found me wanting “suddenly” realizes that I am nice or kind or funny (how could they not) or welcoming or empathetic.  It is entertaining because to them it is as if this has miraculously occurred overnight or while they were not looking. They present it to me as if this will be new news to me. I am left to have to observe that I have always been this, it was just not their view of me.

Yes, I have worked steadily for several years (and continue to do so) on becoming a better, happier me, but the core personality has been pretty much the same.  The only thing that has changed is their story about me.

One of my favorites was during my years in corporate America. I was the marketing director of a newspaper. This required that I work closely with the circulation manager to increase readership. He was perceived as abrupt and difficult.  I found him to be funny, creative and energetic with a dash of difficult.  One day a fellow employee came into my office and began talking about him. Asking if he had a family.  I enthusiastically chatted about his wife and daughter.

                “How can you?” she asked

                “How can I what?” I replied

                “You’re having an affair with him!!!”

                “I am? No wonder I am so tired!! What makes you think that?”

                “He is in your office all the time and the two of you are laughing!”

                “I am quite funny and he has a great sense of humor.”

                “No he doesn’t. We all know you are having an affair.”

“Did you ever stop to think that as the circulation director he needs to spend time with the person that is marketing the newspaper?”

                “Oh.”

                “Thanks for thinking I am that appealing.”

I have many other examples, but it illustrates the point. We as humans make up other people’s lives to match our needs, stories, and perceptions.  Evidently, we think that life is one big work of fiction. Maybe it is.