What Do You Pick?

I recently injured the back of my hand. Nothing awful, but it looked much worse and two large scabs formed amongst the other scrapes. I could not stop noticing them and it made me think of all our wounds both physical and psychic. Perhaps because one of the abrasions was directly over a cigarette burn scar I acquired at the age of eight. Injury over injury. Memory over memory.

Scabs always form, no matter how superficial or deep.  It is a sign of healing, but it is also a reminder of the pain and original injury. It attracts our constant attention, and we keep looking to see how the healing is progressing. We judge the size of the wound and marvel at the ability to cover it with a scab – nature’s bandage. Over time the scab changes shape and texture. To some it is impossible not to pick it. To constantly interrupt the natural course of healing. Reopening, re-examining, probing the depth and breadth of the wound.

Even though you are told that it will leave a bigger scar, the desire to continue to excavate the experience often overwhelms. In physical injury you make it bleed again and perhaps require that it be treated and covered. For our mental wounds we do the same but are left with rethinking that which has already happened, making the recovery longer, the hurt deeper and the scars last a lifetime.

What is it about giving ourselves time to heal that we avoid? How is the revisiting of the incident of use? Why do we interrupt the process that will make us whole again? Do we make the reminders larger, so we do not forget?

I have no answer to any of this, but it has been healing for me to think about the choices I make.

What is your pick?