Universal Concierge

I wonder if I will ever completely give up the event planning of other people’s lives. At this moment it seems impossible or perhaps improbable. The hopeful news is that I catch myself mapping out scenarios and escape routes for others.

These are not always people that have a close connection to me. That is the fascinating (some might say creepy) part. I am a stalking mentalist. My brain and I follow people around trying to clean up their messes, solve their problems, reroute their destinies. I am a problem-solving GPS that works undercover awaiting the opportunity to spring into action at the slightest hint of inquiry.

All it takes is a passing conversation with someone that poses a question or appears to be asking for information and I am off and running.  The “new” me does less blurting and information overload, but that does not stop the conversations and planning taking place in my head. They do not even have to be asking me directly. I can overhear them talking to someone else and believe that I should interject, rescue and reposition them for success.

I caught myself the other night sitting in my chair thinking through the steps necessary to get a total stranger to their goal. They had chatted me up in Trader Joe’s as we bonded over a product. I am proud to say that I had not started the conversation about salsas, but I did willingly join in regarding my opinion. They mentioned they were new here and made some simple statements about acclimating to this town. I was quite cavalier in my answers. Throwing off tired phrases such as, “You’ll find your way” and “It’s an easy town to find things in.” Then I wandered off in search of my other items.

It was hours later that I found myself listing things to do in the metro area. My brain was making lists of shopping, restaurants, doctors and quirky locales. I had no idea where this person lived, their name or anything else, but my internal concierge hard drive was up and spinning with helpful hints, directions and probably phone numbers. In the old days I would have offered to take them out and drive them around and have them back to the house for a meal.

What kind of long-term programming does this and is the brain not a fascinating organ? All those neurons and synapses firing. Taking you on an adventure ride without having to leave the warmth and safety of your home. It is retrainable, however. I know this because I successfully gave information to a dear friend the other day and did not offer to do the task for them as I would have a year ago. I did think I heard a bit of disappointment in their voice, but I fought it off and hung up the phone and have only thought about it ten or fifteen times a day since.

I am getting better.