The Stories We Tell

We are all living our lives from our wounds. It is just a part of being human. Some of the scaring is deep, while others are merely a sprain or pulled muscle.  It can come from abuse, bullying, assault (sexual and other). It also comes for many from words spoken, moments remembered as hurtful that to someone else would be not worth noting. All of it is colored by our perception of the event.

When we are wounded, we make choices and put strategies into play to keep us safe or apart. The strategies are quite creative and brilliant as they are often created by us as children. We weave them into the fabric of our lives and forget we ever put them into play. We become the strategies and move further from our authentic selves. We do not even know we have done it because it often solves the problems we were facing in the moment and that is our goal.

As we age and life happens, our reactions, choices, parameters are run by all these wounds. Just as you limp for a while after you sprain your ankle and then walk what you perceive to be normally after, some muscle use has changed. We have adjusted our bodies to accommodate the hurt. With each psychic wound we do the same and then one day we wake up and everything hurts or our relationships are no longer working or we are hiding behind the mask we have created for the outside world. We find ourselves reacting to life in ways we no longer find useful or in ways that push others away. We are puzzled and confused which leads to great victim stories of how the world is doing it to us.

The world is full of challenge, but we always are in control of our reaction. If the reactions no longer satisfy you, they can be changed. It is not as easy as it sounds, but it is possible.

I have been working on this for years.  All sorts of seminars, classes, methods and approaches. I have found the one that works for me but it was certainly trial and error and reasonable capital outlay. Writing this blog has helped me more than I would have ever thought, but perhaps that is because I spend a lot of time thinking about my thoughts, my approach and my behavior. I also spend a lot of time observing others and their reactions. The tough part is not judging others for their choices and reactions. It is so much easier and fun to do than looking at yourself and your stuff, but it does not take you anywhere except deeper into your own story.

I love telling stories but so does everyone else except most of them do not know they are storytellers. They think their “stories” are real and have allowed themselves to become firmly imprinted with the “truth.” None of us are telling the truth, we are telling our take on the events which have our truths taking on the hero role of our victimhood. We are the injured party. We are the one misunderstood. We are the one’s wronged. All true because we are the author.

I am currently working on a new series. The retelling of the Life of Heather. It is quite the project and lots of the characters are the same, but they play much different roles now.  Stay tuned because some of the twists and turns will take you by surprise.