Loving Consideration

It is Valentine’s Day. The day of Love. A day filled with expectations. A day that leaves many feeling more alone and apart.

I was driving down the road this week and Patty Smyth’s song, “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough” came on the radio. I had not heard it in years, but something told me to focus on the lyrics. So, I did. The main refrain is “There’s a danger in loving somebody too much.” Then there is a lot about using people and not hating them and not being the one to cry. Finally there is the remonstration that you cannot trust your heart.

Love and the unconditional aspect of it have been on my mind.  People’s desire to be loved unconditionally fills hundreds of books, perhaps thousands. Heartbreak and how to avoid it. Being careful with your heart are also topics for discussion.

Why are we always looking for love outside of ourselves? How is it someone else’s responsibility to make us feel loved? Why is it someone else's job to be sure that we have our love quotient met?

I know I am swimming against the tide here. I am not excluding myself from the “looking for love in all the wrong places” approach.  It is wonderful to be loved by others. To feel the support, comfort, care and adoration is delightful, but how many times have you received love from someone or others that you have pushed away because it does not feel right or is not the person you want to love you?

Love is just love. You love or you do not. Love comes in many varieties. Love is all around us and we could pick some up daily, but we are picky shoppers. Here’s another question - Do you think you are deserving of love? Are you loveable? If you do not, whose fault is that? The people that you perceive not to love you? Nope, guess again.

As long as the love you believe you need is external to you, it will be in scarce supply. It will not look like you want it to look or wish it would look. You will have given your heart away which we know from song and literature leads to heartache.

So this Valentine’s Day I leave you with a quote that my friend Lisa Dion posted online.

“and if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?

Happy Valentine’s Day!