Grateful

I have had quite the ten days. It has not been helped by being completely out of commission with an illness that is not severe but rather enervating and exhausting.  To say I have been rendered nearly inert would sum it up.  A corner seems to have been turned today, in the right direction and so I am grateful.

Going from caregiver to the one to whom care is given in the snap of a finger can be disorienting. All that is familiar seems far away and slightly out of reach. It is like a fun house (which I have never found fun) or a particularly bad house of mirrors. Your equilibrium is gone, and it is a strange sensation.

What I have found is that being cared for is a lovely feeling. Not that this is new news, but when you cannot actually do much for yourself and must wait for others it is a new level of care. It is delicious. People show up with food and treats and flowers. Phone calls come in asking what you need, do you need, what can I do? You just must ask.

Just like all those years I asked or showed up or provided – other people do it for me!!! Now I know why they were glad to see me or hear from me or have me ask. It never meant much to me because I was so satisfied, I could help, make the burden easier, life a bit brighter.

It is wonderful to be loved and cared about and for. A gift to be surrounded by so many friends and acquaintances that have heard my “bat signal” going out that I needed reinforcements and been first responders. The reality that you are wealthy beyond measure in the people you know opens your heart and lets you heal.

This is short because it is the first day my brain is really working and because it does not take that many words to say “Thank you all who have shown up, offered to show up or wished they could.”

Onward to renewed health, laughter and love.  Oh, and it wasn’t Covid, but feel free to continue guessing. Gratitude to all who read.