Giving Thanks Thoughts

I have been practicing gratitude along with the whole living in my soul not my ego thing. It is a pretty good combo if challenging at times. However, nine months in I find it is getting easier and more unconscious rather than an effort.

Thanksgiving went from 8 of us to 4 in two days. Some of the attrition was due to illness and some to sadness. Those of us left were grateful to the crowd that chose to keep their germs at home rather than sharing them with the masses. It was an act of generosity. The last dropout was about four hours before the meal. It was understandable because their partner died last year on Thanksgiving, and it was just too much to be with people. The part that surprised me was than when I called after receiving the text, they said, “Thank you for not being mad at me.” That was a bit heartbreaking to think someone would feel that they could not be their authentic self and take care of their emotions on a tough day. The person who died was a dear friend of mine and we were friends for over 50 years. I am still surprised that he is not here, but whenever I think of him, I find something to make me laugh or smile because we had the best time together. I understand both sides of his not being with us any longer.

I find stories playing through my head often during the day. Stories upon which I would have acted in the earlier years of my life Now I simply find them to be interesting, sometimes fascinating. My old behavior and reactions are still familiar, and some have a stronger pull than others, but as I listen to them on the streaming service that is my brain they no longer match the behavior I am living.  It is a strange experience – the intimate familiarity juxtaposed with my non-attachment to acting upon these stories or ideas.

Every night I spend time doing a gratitude list before falling asleep. The list consists of all the events and situations my life demonstrates. That means that I express the same level of thanks and acknowledgement for what was perhaps previously labeled “good/bad” or “happy/sad.” Being grateful for life just as it is, has and continues to be, freeing and expansive.

Thank you for reading/listening/commenting and just being you.