Easy to See

I am still trying to orchestrate people’s lives. Admittedly it is more in stealth mode, but the constant feed into my brain can be cacophonous. Will I ever come down from Code Orange and simply be able to walk through the world without trying to solve other people’s problems.

This makes me think of one of my favorite books, “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.” In there it is explained that making spaceships invisible was simply too hard, so they made them into SEPs or Somebody Else’s Problems.  To paraphrase, “you know, those things that you see out of the corner of your eye and you think, don’t look….that is somebody else’s problem.” So, if you want to catch a ride on a spaceship all you have to do is run along looking out of the corner of your eye to see it.

This then leads me to an idea that perhaps I am never going to be able to not notice other people’s problems or needs because I have longed for my planet to come back to get me since before the age of five.  Maybe that is where I went wrong as a child. I would stand and gaze out into the stars and beg my planet to come back to get me. Nothing. I was supposed to be using peripheral vision not blatant staring. How many rides did I miss?!!

Without knowing it I have been trying to hitch a ride, but even with the information from HGG (as it is loving referred to by those addicted to the five-part trilogy), I have yet to master the art of not looking at other people’s needs straight on. I am still staring them dead in the eye as I hear the siren’s cry luring me to the deadly shoals of over-helping.

I have a neighbor. Not one I know particularly well. She is an older lady who has had recent medical challenges. Her children (please note that she has “helpers” she made herself) have been orchestrating her care and she has had 24-hour help.  She also has a physical therapist five times a week.  Then one day, unbidden, I realize that I have a physical therapist friend who is amazing and she has just moved away because she could not find the type of work she wanted which would have been to live in and take care of someone and help them get well.  WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!  I could have introduced her to the family and it all would have been wonderful and my friend would have had a place to stay and my neighbor would have gotten better faster because of the level of care and everyone would have been “better.”  Or not. It could just as easily have been not a fit for all concerned, but that does not stop me from wishing I had been quicker to solve a problem that has nothing to do with me and is none of my business.

I am currently trying to find a job for the sister of a friend, attempting to arrange dental care for another, running the Roladex of my mind through resources for several other acquaintances, worrying about some other friends who moved away and keeping an ear tuned in case someone in a store needs something and no one is helping them.  Luckily most of my organizing is only happening in my head these days and much of the unsolicited advice is not audible to the masses, but my hands are still tightly clutching the reins to pull my muzzle down and away from the bit in my teeth.

Perhaps I finally know that once I figure out how to just run along and silently look out of the corner of my eye, I will catch the ride or they will finally come back to take me home.  It just won’t be any time soon.