Don’t Despair

In conversations lately the theme of self-worth and living in your perception of other people’s view of you has been prevalent.  The tendency to project your own self-loathing or judgement onto others seems to run many people’s lives. Over the past few years and especially since I began writing this blog, I have tried to become more aware of how I speak to myself.  If most of us spoke to others as we speak to ourselves, we would not have very many friends. No one would want to hang out in our space for very long. Yet we continue to beat ourselves up.

Often, we do it by projecting these opinions onto others. We tell ourselves stories about their opinion of us. Maybe we are correct, but often if we take the time to observe, we are putting words, judgements and pronouncements into their behavior that may only exist inside of our own heads. 

I had been working with a client that was heading home for a family reunion. Those can be just as deadly as they can be fun. All of their childhood wounds and lack had bubbled up to the surface. We had done a good job of taking the beliefs one by one and really examining them, their root, and their power.  It had been illuminating, freeing and finally kind of fun as the realization dawned that when you take a few steps back or to the right or left, things appear differently.  After we ended, I went to “Going In to Find Out” again and this popped up.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

DESPAIR 

Of what do you despair? 

What seems so hopeless in your life that

you cannot bring your Self back to a place of

limitless possibility? 

Who told you that it was not possible? 

Our guess is that most of you have been told it is not possible by your own minds. Now your minds may have been abetted by programming, thoughts or comments from others, but it is your choice to believe them. Most of you work on a system of external beliefs that you then internalize. What does that mean? You come into this world with certain aspects in place and then it is your environment coupled with the strength of your Soul that begins to direct your life.  How much do you care about YOU? How important are YOU to the process? 

Let us take programming. Did someone tell you that you were ugly or fat or stupid or worthless? If so, who? Why did you let that person’s opinion matter more than your own? Did you have no opinion of your own? What is beauty, what is intellect, what is the perfect body for YOU? Those are the questions that you must ask. Then you need to ask the most important question – Who are you really?  What does your Soul look like? Can your Soul be too fat or too thin or ugly or stupid? No, because your Soul does not really have human traits. Your Soul is a wonderful bright light that illuminates your being. It gives you grace, elegance, purpose and meaning, but most of you have no idea how beautiful and magnificent a Soul you possess.  

Who are you? 

Answer that question in writing. You can write full sentences or you can write just words, but describe your Self. Do it quickly and then review what you believe to be true about your Self. Notice the words and descriptions that you use. What do you feel like as you read those words? Next determine if those are truly your words or are they again what you have been told and have come to believe? When you hear the negative things in your head about your Self, whose voice or voices are they? Are they parents or other family, teachers, spouses, co-workers, friends, children from your school days – Who is telling you all of these things? More importantly why do you believe them?  

If you are measuring up to your dreams and ideals, then you have perhaps conquered most of the voices, if you are living in despair that you will never have what you want, we would tell you that it is time to lose the negative Self-talk. Give it back to the people from whence it originally came and get on with a life that listens to your Soul and not your head. Spend time each day in meditation and quiet so that you can begin to get the rhythms of living life as you were truly meant to be. 

We leave in joy.

Namaste