Changes

People stop drinking when being drunk is harder than being sober.

That was a quote from a podcast I saw recently. It had the effect of stopping me in my tracks.  It is not overly profound, but it contains great truth and wisdom.

I have been thinking a lot about why people do not want to take advantage of changing that about themselves that they do not like. Put another way, if you are so miserable with your life, fears, situation, why do you not do something about it?

It is not as if there are no self-help books, podcasts, seminars or classes. There are therapists and counselors. Why do so many choose misery, suffering, sadness and upset over changing the situation.  To quotes a favorite person of mine, Byron Katie, “Who would you be without your story?”

We love our stories and often with each retelling we become more the hero or victim in the tale. We are rescuing or we are being oppressed. We are right and they are wrong. We are alternately the oppressed and the oppressor depending on the scenario we are sharing. If those stories do not cause you distress or keep you locked in a place you do not want to be, then I say enjoy them. Tell them to one and all. Embellish away if you want. If, however, your narrative keeps you suppressed and depressed, why not change?

It is all described in the opening sentence. We humans will usually not act until where we are is harder than where we say we want to be. Each of us has our tolerance limits and no one else can tell where those boundaries begin and end. Our personal prisons are of our own making and determination. We also have many different prisons. One for each of the things we say we do not want or love or desire. Some of those have work release options; some hard labor and others are solitary confinement. All of them have keys hanging by the door that would allow us to get out. Monopoly got it right, there is a “Get Out of Jail Free” card waiting for us to use it.

I shall try to be more tolerant as I move forward. To understand that while people complain of their lot in life or lament their situation, they have not yet reached the point of “up with which they will not put.” It does not hurt enough yet, but if they are lucky, some day it will.