All I Want For Christmas Is You
I want my mom back for Christmas. I would like her back for more than that, but Christmas is a time I miss her more. This is the eleventh holiday season without her. That hardly seems possible.
Caryln loved Christmas. She loved decorating, wrapping packages, getting the tree and lovingly hanging all the ornaments from antique to handmade to brand new. She dressed up with festive sweaters, necklaces and hats. (Although the year she dressed as a cat for Christmas with a mini skirt, a tail, tights and ears in her 70s still confuses us all). A woman who laughed most of the time laughed even more.
Her joy and childlike wonder filled the world around her. I would go every year as an adult to have my picture taken with Santa just so she would have it. I began taking my nephew at 3 weeks and continued the tradition until the dancing of the Nutcracker kept him away during the Santa photo window.
I want to see her twinkling eyes and to hear her laughter. Just to see her grinning as you open a surprise from her would suffice. Willingly I would be up at 6:30 a.m. to make the drive to her house so that the unstocking of stockings and present opening could begin. She was Mrs. Claus and elf and the embodiment of pure love all rolled up into a beautiful, stylish and joy-filled package.
I have decorated – some might say “over decorated” the house this year with as much Christmas cheer as I could find in the attic. There are over 10 trees and lighted saguaro statues. Lights hanging from the eaves and stockings strewn about the house along with a village tableau under the TV. I try to bring the laughter and the fun and the love, but it is at best only a copy. Maybe it is enough for those I share it with, but for me I cannot quite fill the stockings she inhabited.
I am eternally grateful that I had such a woman as my mother and I know she would give me an “A” for effort, yet I still want to see her sitting in a chair anticipating the fun ahead. So, I shall attempt to conjure her in my heart and dive into Christmas Day in the Caryln way.
Happy Holidays to All of you. May your days be filled with love and laughter.
