What Are They Thinking?
It is fascinating to me the angle, meaning or interpretation we give to other’s remarks or actions. Perhaps it is more accurate to say, the take I take away from other people’s view of the world. Recent events have given me more food for thought regarding this matter as I have been more focused on myself and my needs than I have in years.
I have been observing others and myself more closely. It starts with others and their view of a situation or event. Somehow it does not match my pictures or beliefs or my perception of how I would have worded it or asked or behaved. I then react, judge, pontificate, fume (a bit) and often go on a rant.
How could they?
Why would they?
Who do they think they are?
Where do they get off with that belief?
Did they hear themselves just then?
After throwing myself around for a while, often longer than I should, I will find myself in a quiet time reflecting on the topic. I might still be up on my high horse riding when I take a moment to stop and contemplate what would have made them behave in a manner I find “less than elegant.” What was their motivation? What were they really asking, trying to say, or communicating? There is no way I can know without engaging them in a longer conversation and for most folks I do not feel this need. Then I wonder if they could even tell me were I to ask. It is my experience that I seem to spend more time thinking about these things than do most.
I am interested in why people spew out the thoughts they have. I have learned this is not necessarily something that is going to lead down a productive road nor do many people enjoy my take on things. I am just as annoying or puzzling to them as are they to me.
This has led to me spend way too much time taking a big step back from most folks right now and looking at what I believe I know about them and attempting to assign motivation, fear, anxiety and entitlement to their behavior. It is a somewhat futile use of time and can be frustrating, but it is also fascinating and brings me a measure of grace. And that’s not a bad thing.
