Happy Blog-Aversary

It appears that there may be a codependent convergence happening around me. Why would this surprise me? Afterall, I have been the ringleader for years and the blog is two years old this week, so I may be attracting the energy. There just seems to be an uptick in occurrences.

One could ascribe it to the law of attraction or the 100th monkey theory (a personal favorite of mine), but it may just be that in reducing my cognitive dissonance and I am more aware. Perhaps I am giving codependents an “olly olly oxen free” signal that only they can hear.

This heightened awareness that I seem to have created has many questioning their own behaviors.

“Is that codependent?” seems to pepper many conversations.

I would like to state that I do not believe that I am the arbiter of all behaviors of a codependent nature. Everyone is codependent in some way. Hey, there are even codependent narcissists. It is true, I have met them (and they seemed thrilled by the attention).

I began writing this blog as a way to look at the “comedy of codependence.” How my cloying behavior kept placing me in situations that I believed in some way were not of  my choosing and yet I kept choosing them. Inviting people into my life, home and environment and allowing them to stay whilst they often demonstrated boorish behaviors.

Writing this has helped me enormously. Just this past weekend when a complete stranger/salesperson stated they were looking for people with room to put a tiny house in their backyard, I did not blurt out the thought in my head which was “I have room!”

 Now that is progress!!!!

So, yes, I still have thoughts. Luckily all my hard work on myself (and with your willingness to read about my struggles), I have installed a 10 second delay system in my brain.  It is not so much a filter as it is a chance to reevaluate the necessity of what is about to come out of my mouth. I no longer must save the world from itself, although the world I see could still use a lot of saving. People are now allowed to live their own lives and make their own choices (had to insert “choices” rather than “mistakes”…see how much better I am?). When I hear the call of HELP in my head, I can choose not to listen. If I hear HELP out loud I still pay attention, but do look around to see if there are any others willing to rush in.

The world needs codependents. They are the worker bees and the search and rescue teams that assist others in their journey. I probably will never fully “recover” because I like helping people. I enjoy sharing my resources, knowledge and shoulder to cry upon. It will just be on a case-by-case basis and include a time/cost analysis.

Thank you all for your time and attention and comments and readership. Onward to the third year and see where it takes my mind and topics.