GRATEFUL

An attitude of gratitude.  That was my mother’s favorite, and I am lucky enough to have had it instilled early and often.  Everyone is busy this time of year remembering HOW IMPORTANT it is to be grateful. They are racing around counting their blessings. Perhaps to catch up for having not enjoyed it as a year ‘round practice.

Gratitude is practiced every day around here. Even on the days when it appears life is not going in a direction I can admire. There is always something you can find. On the tougher days, I go out of my way to make someone else smile or laugh or feel seen. It works well.

It is easy to be grateful for all the good you experience, but I like to evenly distribute it with all of the things that at one time I might have labeled as “bad” or “hard” or “unfair” or “heartbreaking,” because there is the sweet spot. Balancing it all in benefits and drawbacks.

I am grateful to all of my romantic relationships that were awkward, difficult, soul crushing and confusing. They may not have ended as I had fantasized at the start, but each left me life lessons that have served me well. Each contained enough love or care that if gathered together can sprinkle some happy dust over me.  I am also grateful for the ones that were full of love and care and laughter because who doesn’t want to be loved?!!

To all the friends and relatives who have ghosted me, quit on me and disappeared, a hearty thank you for the insight into humans.  One of the best gifts was the opportunity to do self-analysis and realize that it was just as much you as me and some connections are not meant for a lifetime, but for a time in life. Each one a stepping stone to a more enlightened me. To all of you who have hung around and brightened my life for years or months or days, a big hug and a heartfelt thank you for sustaining me through laughter and tears and angst.

The years of financial struggles were very helpful. It reinforced the teachings of being raised by Depression Era parents and made me appreciate all that I have in every day.  Money is useful and makes life easier, but it does not bring with it happiness or contentment. Abundance lies all around us even when we are living in scarcity, so look for it, embrace it and share it.

There are many empty chairs at the table, especially as we age, but I choose to remember them full and alive and with joy. How lucky I have been to have had all of them in my life and to have shared a piece of theirs. Some of the chairs with occupants can annoy you as well but changing how you let them effect you can be a great practice.

My mother once said she could find something nice to say about everyone.  Her oldest sister, Mary, challenged that – “Say something nice about me!” My mother smiled and replied, “You have lovely nails.” Mary looked down and said, “You’re right!” and my mother said, “See!” as she smiled again.  So, as an homage to my mother, I shall try to find something nice to say about everyone and not just at the holiday season.

I am grateful to all of you who read this blog. Happy Holidays!