Asshat to Asset
It is fascinating that one can go from an asshat to an asset in a blink of an eye. Just as quickly one can take the reverse route from asset to asshat. It happens to all of us.
On any given day, we can behave in a way that my husband referred to as “less than elegant.” We snap at people, we mutter, we climb up on our high horse and start to ride. Usually, we feel justified in our behavior because something in their demeanor or attitude has caused us to react or retaliate. It does not have to be in anger. It can simply be a lecture or imparting of our amazing wisdom that we know will enhance someone else’s life. We can be boorish and pedantic.
Most of the time we do not stop to analyze our behavior or motives, probably because we feel justified in the moment. Other times we might pause, replay and rethink and that is when we have the opportunity to examine our “ass-hatted-ness.” I have apologized for the trait on a number of occasions and have had mixed responses. Those that are thrilled I noticed and those that tell me my pointed remarks helped. I have no actual statistics, but it runs pretty neck and neck.
Conversely, we can believe that we have been a true asset in someone’s daily activities. We pat ourselves on the back for our thoughtfulness, help and insight. Perhaps we even tell others of our amazing qualities and assistance. As we fly along the self-righteous highway we run the risk of hitting the asset to asshat pothole. That place where we find out that our good intentions have had the opposite effect. We have not built anyone up, but rather torn them down.
This past week I had a family member call and stop by out of the blue. They apologized several times for having been such a poor communicator. As they left I told them that in actuality, they were one of the best at keeping in touch. The stunned look on their face was great.
We judge ourselves constantly. Good/bad, kind/awful, thoughtful/selfish. Rarely do we ask for input. Perhaps if we did, we might find ourselves in better balance with how the rest of the world sees us and how little or how much they care.
Go out and have a wonderful week being both.
